That's intense
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
