I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
