she was so not down for the gang bang
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
