Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
