champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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