God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
