It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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