rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
