I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
