Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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