break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
