How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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