She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
