why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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