I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
