just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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