OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
