We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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