I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
