THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My vagina is very pro this idea
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
