she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
