Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Randomize