but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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