I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
