So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
