no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have fence marks all over my body
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
