I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
