i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
