just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
