Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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