You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
When are your genitals available?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
