Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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