He is an equal opportunity slut.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
