All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
