Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
