I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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