Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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