3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
