i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
