Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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