New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
