Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
