I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
