And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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