Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
