theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize