I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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