He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
