Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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