Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
