you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
send nudes
from the living room?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
