one might say we're banned from that church
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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