I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
