Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
