He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
