first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
