I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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