I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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