1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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