Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
