Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
