another moral hangover. fuck.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
